The Thirteenth Diary
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: Insanity. It boggles the mind. Captures the imagination. But what truly makes a man insane? It is his beliefs? His moral code? Or is it his psyche, that crucial link that determines reality from illusion? Madness can drive man to do terrible things. Evil things. Unable to decipher Real Life from fantasy, a lone blonde aspires for the mantle of godhood. Narutox? Pairing undecided!
1. Unlucky

**A/N: I am sick. Sick and so very twisted! I just got done watching the insanity that is Mirai Nikki and after nearly losing my lunch-why the hell did I have to watch the unedited version?!-an equally sick though occurred to me. Every bearer of a Future Diary has some manner of problem, right? Be it mental or otherwise, something tragic or f****d up has happened to each bearer of these eerie little diaries, correct? Now what was this thought, you ask? What if a certain blonde's dellusions were all in his head? What if really wasn't who he supposed he was? NOTE: I've just learned that someone has already used the Thirteenth concept, but this is simply my take on it, having not known about it at the time. And on that note, I proudly present you with...**

**...a very twisted creation! I present you with Thirteenth!**

_"Oi, oi, I'm getting a little old for this..._

_~?_

**Unlucky**

_"Thirteenth?"_

**"Correct."**

"Would you kindly shut up and let me think, here?"

The blonde turned the black cellphone upside down in his hand, as though by doing so he might somehow wisk it away and forget it ever existed. Nothing happened. A muscle jumped in his jaw. And yet it continued to hang there in the palm of his hand as though determined to defy him, its screen spitefully divulging the contents of today's events. Events that had yet to occur. Despite his increasingly rare bouts of lucidity, the young man found it difficult to believe that this inocuous device, the same one that he'd used for the last three years, could suddenly tell the future. Apparently it could, according to God.

Yes, God.

The being who'd done this to Thirteenth's phone had identified himself as Deus Ex Machina. In other words, kami. Funny. Thirteen had always thought God would look more...well, human. Deus didn't look human in the slightest; a towering figure with long spindly arms, a large, skull-like face and a voice that made the heavens tremble. If Thirteen were a lesser man-he might've pissed his pants at the sight of such a deity. As his brain currently stood, he was beginning to wonder if this too, was a figment of his imagination.

**"It should prove to be an intersting game,"** the god replied, continuing with his calculations. "**Third, however, was eliminated far too quickly for my liking. If this continues, the game will be boring. I've no interest in boring games. Alhough someone of your...'_calibre'_ may be interested. But I cannot use you to replace Third. Therefore, I have decided to add you as another player. Hence, thirteenth. Or perhaps, I should call you by your given name...**

**...Uzumaki Naruto?"**

Uzumaki Naruto.

Yes, that was the sole constant in both worlds. His name. Identity. Whichever reality might be real and whichever fake, Naruto knew that much. He was real. One of the worlds in which he so often found himself was all but a fake; a figment of his fractured mind. Which meant...

Blue eyes the color of endless oceans narrowed in confusion, whiskered cheeks pinching in a scowl. Once more he risked a glance at his phone, daring to disbelieve what Deus had told him.

There, written down in painstaking detail, were the events of this afternoon. Ordinarily that wouldn't have been much of a surprise, despite his increasingly erratic state of mind, he often liked to make a list of the days events for himself, marking them merely out of habit. There was only one problem.

It was currently 10:00 AM.

All the passages in his phone had been recorded entries at least than four hours later. A few of particular note stood out amongst them.

_12:00 PM- _Had another hallucination again about being a shinobi again. Or is this world the hallucination and that the real one? I can't tell anymore. It's like I'm living a dual life; one minute I'm a junior in High School-the next, I'm a ninja with superpowers and a fox in his stomach. Its been this way for as long as I can remember; guess I should be glad I'm not in an asylum or something...

_1:37 PM-_ Back to reality...I think. My now _ex-_girlfriend called and cussed me out for missing our date. Again. Why do I have such shitty luck with women?

_2:15 PM-_TV told me that local criminal was killed recently. Damn shame. I wanted to have a little fun with him. God, what's wrong with me? Am I insane?

Am I?

**"You may very well be."** Naruto blinked and Deus was before him once more, dominating his vision. "**But that is your strength; your differing statess of mind may make you unstable, yet at the same time, they afford you an incredible advantage...skill. In one world you are an accomplished killer. In the other, you retain remarkable strength. Should you somehow succeed and kill the others then you will be the one to accept the mantle of godhood. Then you will be able to reshape the world as you see fit, in your image! **Naruto wondered this to himself as he held his Future Diary in his hand. According to Deus, if he broke it, he would die. He wasn't that curious!

"So this is my future diary, huh?" he wondered aloud.

**"That is your Dimension Diary."** Deus's words offered a balm to his confusion. "**Like the other diaries it predicts your future and affords you information directly according to the state of your mind. But be warned; your future may change depending on your mental state**." So...in other words, he had his own insanity/sanity to blame for whatever information he received and how he acted upon that informations to begin with. Lovely. Way to handicap him.

_No, I can do this!_ He reminded himself. _I don't care who the others are...they'll never be able to predict my movements!_

**"I would suggest you keep your guard up at all times."** Deus offered.** "Talking to yourself won't help."**

"Yeah, talking to myself." Naruto's deadpann was scarcely concealed. "Riiiiight." That was his shinobi side talking...

**"Do you accept?"**

Naruto pondered Deus's question for a moment longer; no job, no girlfriend, nearly flunking out of highschool...what the hell did he have to lose? That was in this world. In the other he wasn't all that different; having a source of income didn't change things. There was no one to care for him in that world either, no one to call his own, no future save his delusional dream of becoming Hokage...but if he became a god he could finally see the truth, finally eradicate his own insanity and determine which world was real. Moreover, he could rule that world-that universe-as he saw fit!

**_"This'll be fun."_**

Naruto didn't know if it was Kurama's voice or his own to echo the thought; and to be honest, he didn't care. The smile that tore across his face looked like it belonged on a demon instead of a man anyway.

_"I accept!"_

**A/N: Oh dear kami above! Or is it Deus? What horror have I unleashed upon the Mirai Nikki universe?! A Naruto who isn't quite there in the head; one you can't tell if he exists in one reality or the next! Better watch out! As for the pairing, I've quite a few in mind, Perhaps NarutoxMinene or NarutoxTsubaki? I know better than to go anywhere NEAR Yuno with a ten foot pole! Yes, she is very ruthless, incredibly hot, and brilliant...but she's also a batshit yandere for Yukkii! Should be interesting once they meet, however, Crazy vs Crazy!**

**So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

**...Review...Would You Kindly?**


	2. Life is an Explosion!

**A/N: I am sick. Sick and so very twisted! I just got done watching the insanity that is Mirai Nikki and after nearly losing my lunch-why the hell did I have to watch the unedited version?!-an equally sick though occurred to me. Every bearer of a Future Diary has some manner of problem, right? Be it mental or otherwise, something tragic or f****d up has happened to each bearer of these eerie little diaries, correct? Now what was this thought, you ask? What if a certain blonde's dellusions were all in his head? What if really wasn't who he supposed he was? NOTE: I've just learned that someone has already used the Thirteenth concept, but this is simply my take on it, having not known about it at the time. And on that note, I pr?oudly present you with...**

**...the continuation of a very twisted creation! I present you with the next chapter of Thirteenth!**

_"Insanity is such a realtive term...wouldn't you agree, Minene-chan?"_

_~?_

**Life is an Explosion!**

_"I wonder who I'll get to kill first?"_

The blonde turned the black cellphone upside down in his hand, as though by doing so he might somehow divine the identity of his first victim. That was he thought of them as. Victims. To think of them as people would only weaken his resolve-corroding his strength for when the time came. Nothing happened. A muscle jumped in his jaw. _Stupid thing, you're supposed to forsee my future!_ And yet it continued to hang there in the palm of his hand as though determined to defy him, its screen spitefully divulging only the contents of today's events. Nothng more. It did not tell him the identity of those he sought, nor where to find them. Instead it foretold an increasingly distressing series of events, that unfolded in five minute intervals, each serving only to slake his temper.

_11:00 AM-Saw my ex with another guy from class. I should kill the little fucker._

_11:05 AM-Pop quiz. The answers are..._

_11:10AM-Huh. A strange woman just entered the classroom after everyone left. Damn she's hot! Wonder who she is?_

"Ah, this isn't helping me any!" he sighed to himself, fiddling with the phone at his desk, peering at today's entry. "I want to know who the other owners are! There's twelve of them, right? Shouldn't be that hard to find after all...I mean, if Deus gave someone like _me_ one of these, than how fucked up can the other guys be?"

Against his better judgement he'd decided to come to school today, merely out of boredom. Now, he was regretting it. He got good grades more often than not, but in the same vein he found his hallucinations acted up here. It was rather difficult to focus when you found yourself in another world, wasn't it?

So Naruto just sat there-listening to the substitute drone on and on, not caring one iota for what he'd come here to say. But his mind was not idle. He let his gaze sweep across those of his fellow classmates, wondering if they too, were diary users. He knew enough to watch any who kept checking their phones. And, to his great delight, he found too such individuals. Their names immediately popped into his mind from the class roster, earning a slight smile from the blonde. Suspicious behavior. Checking their cell phones...could he really be so lucky?

_And if I am? I'd have to find a way to dispose of the bodies, dig up a few favors from my old contacts...! _It was almost frightening to think just how easily he was willing to commit murder for the sake of his goals. And the worst part was thus; he wasn't repelled by the notion of taking their lives to reach his dream. He had, after all, killed countless times during his hallucinations...or were they reality, and this world was the fake? _Oh not this arguement again! Aaargh! Semantics!_ Regardless, there was only one way to find out.

He kept sitting there, even as the classroom began to empty. Yuno departed after a brief word with Yukiteru. The latter stayed behind, obviously fretting over something. His sad, pathetic little face was all scrunched up and it looked like he was about to cry...ha! As if such a weak-willed boy could possess a future diary! It was almost laughable-no, it was laughable! In fact...he felt like laughing right now! _But that won't do,_ Naruto, told himself._ I can't have the entire school thinking I'm crazy...even if I am!_

"Gasai Yuno. Amano Yukiteru...I wonder." He shook his head. "Am I that lucky just to find someone right off the bat...right?" He sat there for a moment longer, wondering just what it was that had Yukiteru up in such a tizzy, was just about to take acton, when a feminine silhouete peeked curiously in their classroom. She knocked on the still opened door signaling attention, and asked with a innocent voice:

''Excuse me. Can you help me?'' Her voice was so beautiful it practically _demanded_ attention. ''How do I get to the teachers office? I want to find out something about Mr. Hiyama.''

Naruto perked up, blue eyes flicking in the same direction as Yukiteru's.

In less than a second three impoitant details struck his concern. First. _She's not a student here. I'dve noticed her eairlier. Appearance unusual, most likely in mid-twenties, medium height girl, two ponytails on each side, extravagant gothic lolita dress somewhat similar to what you'd see on a housemaid, purple stripes matching her hair, and her eyes, waw, those deep purple eyes could put any male under her spell. And finally, daaamn if that's not a nice body! Wish I could get a girl like that...but haven't I seen her somewhere before?_

''He's your homeroom teacher, right?" she continued, addressing Yukiteru. "My sources tell me he's that street killer everyone's been talking about.'' the slighest of smiles pulled at her angelic face; her figure entering the room at a slow pace, matching her words. If she was at all aware of Naruto-she seemed to ignoring him. Ironically, this made him angry. Far more than it should. What was that woman doing...staring at someone so weak and pitiful like Yukiteru?! It pissed him off! Angered him more than it should! "By the way...I heard the rumor about your grades suddenly improving. It's as if you've turned into a whole new person.'' she was moving close to the windows now, still moving at that eerily casual pace.

Naruto's danger sense screamed a warning.

''I'm sure you know by now why Mr. Hiyama's absent. He was killed.'' with that she was moving dangerously close to Yukiteru's side.'' Meaning the murderer was killed, by someone. His future diary was the Murder Diary.''

Naruto discreetly scratched his arm, palming the knife holster he always kept in his right sleeve. It paid to be paranoid, right?

_Oh, so now we're __**naming** our diaries…?_

"He cornered First, but the tables got turned, and he was killed instead." the purple-haired woman continued, unaware of the subtle sleight of hand. "That's right, Hiyama Takao was Third." She was practically grinning now, no longer able to disguise her glee at Yukiteru's fear. Naruto empathized with her, but in a different manner and for his own reasons entirely.

_Just perfect…two of my opponents found each other first…and they aren't even aware of me! This is too good to be true…aargh! Why does one of them have to be so godamn beautiful though?!_

Closer still the woman same, cocking her head aside to look at the phone clutched in Yukiteru's palm.

"Nice cell phone." she observed idly. "I've got one just like it."

Yukiteru jerked back as if he'd been _burned._ It was like blood in the water. Not just for Naruto, but the woman as well.

''It's you. You're First.'' and on the next words-she became an entirely different person, from that innocent young girl, into one of a sadistic maniac. "I knew it!"

Before she had the chance to say anything more Naruto slipped the knife into his palm and let it fly...hurtling it with all his considerable might. Time seemed to slow as he watched the weapon sail across the classrooms desks and chairs, eyes narrow whilst it arced unfalteiringly towards its target, swinging end over end endlessly. It was a perfect throw. He'd been much too close for either of them to realize he'd held the weapon until it was too late, until he'd thrown it. The unamed woman was only now beginning to turn, but much too slowly. Such a shame that she had to be the first one to die, but she was by far the most dangerous one in the room bar himself; once she was dead he could eliminate first at his leisure...

...or not.

By same ironic twist of fate, Yukiteru startled at the sight of the knife-accidentally shifted the center of his body into the deadly dagger's path. Instead of the weapon plunging in Ninth's chest, it sank into _his_ shoulder to the hilt with a sweet slick of penetrated flesh. There was a silence. Naruto stood there, his arm still fully-extended, eyes wide. Ninth stared back at him, in disbelief, unable to believe her stroke of luck. Amano _screamed_ then; his shriek of absolute agony shattering the impasse between them. It was the sweetest sound Naruto had heard all day and it somehow made everything better. His fingers clutched around the knife as if to pull it out but decided against it, struggling instead to stifle the blood flow.

_ 'Gotcha.'_ He rose from his seat with a flourish, no longer able to conceal either himself or his amusement.

"Who the hell're you?" the woman didn't seem at all frightened by his sudden action; if anything, she appeared...pleased? Interesting.

Chuckling, Naruto placed a hand in his pocket and slowly, _languidly_ withdrew his phone while adopting a serious figure. "Did you think you were the only one with one of these bad boys?" Sneering, he held up his diary-reveling in their startled expressions savoring them like the finest wine. There really was nothing like a cup of fear in the morning. No one feared him in the other world, where death was as common as the clouds. But here..._here _where murder was so unexpected, so horrific, the slightest action on his part could inspire untold terror.

"That's right, my dear corpses." Naruto's grin grew another inch as he flipped the diary closed, his legs carrying him inexorably forward towards the retreating Minene and the still frozen Yukiteru. "Uzumaki Naruto, also know as Thirteenth, at your service. And it seems that today is your unlucky day! Its Dead End for the both of you, ya know?!" As if to punctuate his words, both phones screeched with static-a glance at each was more than enough to confirm that the flat had in fact been triggered. "But before any of that," His fingers wrapped around the still-protruding dagger in Amano's shoulder. "I want my knife back."

"W-Wait! If you pull it out-

Before the bumbling boy had a chance to protest further, the blonde clenched his fingers and pulled, tearing the blade free. This time his screams were slightly less satisfying. Blood spurted everywhere; spraying across Naruto and Minene, spattering his face and into his hair, staining the blonde locks crimson causing blood to fountain forth from Amano's wound as he reclaimed the blade. It wasn't a deep wound by any means, but he'd definitely die from blood loss in the next hour if someone didn't bandage that arm. Not that he'd live that long, anyway.

"On your knees, First." he murmurred, casually inspecting the blade. "I'd prefer not to get blood all over my uniform." Yukiteru blinked at him, disbelieving.

"Wha-

_"I said on your knees!"_ Naruto wasted no more time with preamble, lashing out at the boy's head with the back of the knife, driving the blunt hilt into his head. The boy crumpled with a groan, clutching at his head, and all but crumpling to his hands and knees. Not what he'd wanted, but close enough. This way he'd only get blood on his shoes now.

Naruto

"Hope you don't mind me stealing your kill, Minene-chan." he sighed, addressing the retreating woman, nearly to the window now. "For some reason, this brat just pisses me off."

The gothic lolita lass startled at his casual remark, her escape cut short by confusion. "But how did you-

"Did you really think I wouldn't recognize thie illustrious _Uryuu Minene?"_ Naruto laughed. "I'll admit, you had me fooled for a moment with that ridiculous getup, but then I realize this was your style? Who else _but_ you would try to show up at school with such an audacious outfit? Its totally your style! And knowing your flair for the dramatic, you've probably planted bombs all over this place. If I'd given you a few more seconds, back there you would've no doubt triggered the one in this room, thereby setting off a series of explosions meant to wipe Yukiteru clean off the map. But I can't have that, ya know? I'm rather fond of my life, you see."

"What're you going to do?" Her words were little more than a growl, forced between her teeth.

"I'm not going to do anything to you." Naruto replied, his gaze sliding back to First._ "Yet._ Right now, I just want him dead. What I do afterwards depends on your response to my offer."

"And what offer might that be?" Minene didn't understand it; she could've easily made a break for the window by now but something was holding her back. Was it fear? No. That didn't make any sense! She hadn't been afraid since she was a little girl; the last true fear she'd felt had been the loss of her parents, and she refused to reflect upon that. She'd wait for his offer, then she'd get the hell out of here. No two ways about it! Once his guard was down, she'd blow him to smithereens alongside first!

And then, as Naruto often did when facing his most unpredictable of opponents, he surprised her.

"Become my woman!" Naruto extended his free hand towards her in invitation, fingers crooked into claws. "Form an alliance with me. If you do that, you live. Refuse and...well, no amount of bombs or explosions will be able to prevent what I'll do to you."

"W-W-W-What...

Behind Ninth's pale skin, the slow flushing of her face looked almost like a growing forest fire, and she seemed literally unable to catch her breath. Oh, this little shit! He had some balls talking to her like that! She did burn at his words, her fingers twitching; longing to wrap around his throat. She hated him alrady. She burned at the memory, of how easily he'd surprised her back there with the knives, of how unbearably frightened she'd been at the time. And yet, there was just something about the way he demanded her to be his that stirred something inside her, stoked a flame she didn't think existed_...stop! Stop stop stop! You...stop thinking about that right now, Uryuu Minene! Stop thinking and start kicking his ass! _

...THE HELL?!"

Unthinking in her exasperation, she lashed out in anger. It was a mistake.

Naruto caught her wrist in the same instant and flung her backwards as though she were no more than a child. He could've easily used the knife to take her hand off, but he didn't. Instead he simply stood there, an odd glint glowering in his eyes.

"You have the time it takes for his head to hit the floor to give me your answer. Then it'll be your turn." He raised his arm high, silently calculating just how much momentum it would take to sever Yuki's head from his shoulders. In that intstant, something occurred to him; he could easily just shatter the boy's phone, and earn himself a bloodless victory. But where was the fun in that? This way, he had Minene rooted to the spot with fear-and perhaps just a hint of desire-and within seconds, she'd be his ally...or dead. Either way, victory was his. This really was shaping up to be a wonderful afternoon...

"Sayonara, First!"

He swung down-!

"Yukkii!"

_Clang!_

Naruto's ground his molars together in a rare bout of anger as a fire extinguisher smashed against the side of his head the slim metal canister cratering from the sudden and abrupt impact. Stars burst before his eyes in a kaleidoscpe of agony, sending him staggering backwards. The blow didn't so much as stun as it did anger him-forcing his body backwards half a pace. In that instant, he caught sight of a pinkhaired girl. Sakura? For a terrifying instant he was drawn between this reality and the other, the image of his former teammate interposing itself upon the one who'd dared to strike him. With a supreme act of will, the blonde dragged himself out of that world, and into this one, bringing with it an untold fury. He hated the color pink, just as he hated Sakura-dellusion or not-for fucking with his heart. And this girl had the same colored hair!

_Bitch!_

His unarmed hand lashing out, backhanding his attacker across the room with the small of his palm. She struck the far wall with a satisfying crunch; hopefully he'd broken something just now. Sakura or not, he found it impossible to feel sorry for this red-eyed, pink-haired girl. He frowned down back at her seemingly motionless body. He saw it. Her phone. It must've flipped open sometime during her short-lived flight, and now it hung there for him to see...as did its entries, several minutes from now.

_This girl...?!_

"Yuno!" Yukiteru cried!

_Ara, so that's her name?_ Naruto thought to himself, shifting the knife to his other hand. _Somehow...it pisses me off even more! And on top of that, she's a diary owner! This is great! Three for the price of one!_

"Well isn't this lucky." he mused to himself. "Before I kill first, I'll kill Second!"

"Like hell you will!"

Naruto bristled; in all his anger, he'd forgotten abotu Minene! Seconds later, his diary crackled to life. A stray glance confimed his suspicions.

**2:04 PM: I die in an explosion. DEAD END.**

_Oh, fuck me!_

"Now _your_ flag's been triggered, Thirteenth." she grinned. "In case you other maggots havent already guessed it, I'm the ninth diary owner, Uryuu Minene! I won't go down like third." Cackling, she leapt to the window and took flight. "Die, all of you!" In that instant just as she flung herself to safety, justas the ground began to shake, Naruto saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He watched helpless-as Yukiteru snatched up Yuno's body and phone to dive out of the classroom. _Why that little-_

Then came the fire.

"Well," Naruto frowned as the explosion rushed up to greet him, "that's not fair at all." His foot shot into the ground, overturning a section of the floor, bringing it up like a wall of sorts, between him and the blasts. Just in time. Blast after blast smashed into him and his improvised shielding, tearing open his uniform and drawing blood. He felt his knees buckle and his muscles mash together from the sheer strains required to hold forth the massive blocks of grantire. But he endured it just as he endured everything else and when the explosions finally ceased-when his earthen shields crumbled, Uzumaki Naruto rose from the wreckage, battered but not beaten. Bruished, and unbroken.

Not to mention pissed beyond belief. One glance into the hallway confirmed that Yuno and Yukiteru had indeed disappeared sometime during the explosions. He would've liked to have hoped that they were buried under the rubble but he knew better. They'd dashed into the halls seconds before the explosion, and as the hall itself wasn't filled with flaming debris

They were alive; alive and long gone

"YOU DAMN BRATS!"

"Attention all you miserable students and teachers!" Minene's voice tore through his ears, amplified by a loudspeaker she no doubt carried. "I, Uryuu Minene, haven taken control over this school! Motion-sensor bombs have been planted throughout the grounds! Don't leave your classrooms if you don't want to die.'' Several students were glancing through the window at the young women, their looks, expressing one common feeling. Complete and absolute terror.'' And just in case some of you feel the need to paly hero-I've placed minefields all around the campus! The entire student body in this school...is now my hostage! I'll blow you all straight to hell if you don't concede to my demands! Bring Uzumaki Naruto and Amano Yukiteru out here! You have thirty minutes before I detonate all the bombs within this building!"

Lowering her mike, Ninth leered up at the corridor where she'd last seen her least favorite blonde.

_I'm gonna enjoy watching you squirm, Thirteenth!_

* * *

_(Meanwhile, Outside the School)_

Kurusu Keigo frowned as he consulted his diary. Having arrived mere moments before, the police had worked tirelessly to set up a perimeter; seconds before, SWAT had been in position to snipe the terrorist known as Uryuu Minene for her attempts to hold the school hostage. Wisely, he'd called them off before their ill-fated attempt. _The bitch really thought this through,_ he mused to himself in the darkened safety of his van, _rigging all the bombs to explode when her heart stops._ To think she'd gone to such trouble

But there was a wild card in this; a fly in the ointment that he hadn't been expecting. There was mention here of someone named Thirteenth...

_Thirteenth?_

Well, this certainly made things more interesting.

* * *

Naruto's head snapped to the right as an explosion sounded behind him, nearly launching him from his feet and into the air. He regained traction with some effort just in time to round the next corner, setting of what'd been the tenth detonation in his wake. Too close! These explosions were getting way too close! Thus far, he'd been able to outrun the explosions through sheer speed and stamina-thank kami for track!-but even he had his limits. And when faced with so many bombs in so many different locations his body was rapidly nearing that limit.

His diary crackled another warning: bomb in the stairwell!

_Fuck!_

Naruto hissed as shrapnel bit into his back, tearing into his flesh, further sundering his school uniform.

Having long since given up trying to hunt down Yuno and Yukiteru-whatever diary she had clearly revolved around him-he was just focused on finding the right window to jump out of. Minene's bold statement about the minefield would be her undoing; he'd much rather take his chances on open terrain with mines than risk navigating these narrow halls where a bomb might find him at any moment. It was no longer a matter of it, have you, but of when. He'd been running around for nearly twenty-five minutes already and, while he had no aversion to seeing his fellow students die, he wasn't ready to die in the explosion himself!

He had to find the right window...and soon! There! He pelted upa flight of steps and caught sight of exactly what he was looking for-a window on the top floor! Running for all he was worth, hissing with every breath, he expended himself in one final effort. Gotta run right through it! Crossing his arms before his face-he did just that, crashing through a window mere moments before an explosion caught up to him.

He hung there for

Gravity grabbed him seconds later, his feet slamming into the soil, his sleeves still smoldering from where the fire had snared them. Ninth leered back at him, disbelieving. The bastard had actually jumped! By a miracle he hadn't landed on a mine, now he stood only a few yards away from her. If he still had that knife of his...

"Its over, Minene." His smirk was darker than any shadow; bleaker than any abyss. "I don't care if you detonate all the bombs; kill all the students, or even Yukiteru! This is DEAD END for you."

"And what makes you say that?"

_"Because now you're in my line of sight."_

Minene didn't even see the knife. One moment she'd been standing there, the next, a flash of silver severed her console-sending the Ipad clattering harmlessly out of her grasp. What?! Thirteen hadn't been trying to kill her at all! He'd been aiming for her controls all along! She'd just enough time to glimpse those flashing red digits blink back into a green DEACTIVATED before the pad hit upon one of the nearby mines and detonated in a massive fireball, mom. single

"Fucker!" she hissed.

"I can't help it if your pretty face gets me all fired up." Naruto retorted, starting forward; only to jerk back seconds later. The ensuing explosion tore apart where he'd been standing seconds before, consuming the earth in a shower of flame and fire; had he been standing there, it would've meant certain death.

"Baka!" Minene actually facepalmed. Had Thirteen actually forgotten about the mines?!

"Oh yeah, the mines, hmm?" He eyed the seemingly harmless stretch of dirt between them. "So if I walk towards you...

"Exactly! One wrong move and you're dead meat!"

"That's no problem." Naruto shrugged. "If I can't walk, then I'll just risk it all in one jump!" Before Minene could think to stop him the blonde did just that; exploding upward in an almighty leap that would've left Japan's gold medalist weeping with shame. Instead of soaring straight into the air, his lunge carried him impossibly forward, traversing the distance between the two of them in a single bound, his body descending towards hers in a monumenal arc that left the purplette gawping it outright disbelief.

"You'll blow us both to hell!" she shouted! "Are you crazy?!"

"Quite, thank you very much!"

_Not good!_ She tried to backpedal, but the blonde was falling far too fast; she simply wasn't going to make it in time._ Not good!_ Shit! Was he aiming for her or her diary?! She couldn't tell! _Not good! Not good! Not good! Not-_

**_"Ninth!"_**

Then they collided, crashing to the ground in a tangle of flying fists and feet, screaming and cursing at one another. Naruto seized the advantage almost immediately; rising off the ground, using his greater strength to stradle her body to his, arms locking around her wrists in a vicious vice and forcing her down to the floor. Minene lashed out in kind-driving her knee where no man desired. Naruto didn't so much as bat an eyelash, his head jarred into her with such force that Uryuu saw stars. Literally. He struck her again, driving a knee up into her stomach again and again until she was certain her ribs would shatter-

And then, as swiftly as the beating had begun, it stopped. Naruto leaned over her, covered in sweat and blood, gasping for breath.

"Had enough?" he ground out.

"But...why...

"A wise man always wears protection." Naruto sneered, wrestling her back down to the ground. "Now, are you going to calm down and behave...or would you rather lose an eye?" His knife was suddenly there, pressing down against her sclera, its point mere milimeters away from dealing irreversible damage. "I really don't want to kill you, ya know. Guess I've got a soft spot for beautiful women. But if you continue to resist...I will not hesitate to end you. So I am going to ask you, one last time, before the police arrive and fuck this day up even more for me...

Naruto leered down at her, his visage mere inches from her own, lips quirked in a frightfully disarming smile; it was possibly the most terrifying thing she'd ever seen in her life, bar none. It was then that Uryuu Minene finally realized the awful truth. Naruto was completely insane, wasn't he? Batshit crazy! There was nothing he wouldn't say, nothing he wouldn't do to achieve his goals.

"You're insane." the words escaped her before she could take them back.

Like an iron trap, Naruto's gaze locked onto her own. The sheer intensity of his stare, the sudden ice in his expression, was enough to silence any doubts she might have pertaining to his state of mind. In that instant of terror. Nothing moved. Nothing breathed. Nothing at all. And then he spoke, voice black as pitch, eyes cold as the coldest winter.

"Will you join me, Ninth?"

Minene had the succint feeling she was going to regret ever teaming up with this guy. Just who was he, with his superhuman speed and stamina? She hadn't seen him when Deus had introduced the other candidates so he must be a new addition to the god's little game. Not that it mattered. What with the bombs deactivated, the sirens growing still closer, and the police gaining on her, she had one of too options. Accept his offer or an unlikely partnership or lose an eye-and likely her life, here on the spot. In the end, it wasn't really much of a choice after all.

_"I accept."_

"Great!" Naruto's visage immediately brightened; it was as if this darker half of him had never existed. "On that note-

With an almost lazy motion, he tossed the knife back behind his head. End over end it arced, sinking right into the center of the still active minefield. There was a silence; Minene could hear her own heart hammering in her throat as she realized what he'd just done. _Oh shi-_

In the ensuing explosion Minene barely remembered her smokescreen and the motorcycle she'd secreted away somewhere on these grounds. Both were forgotten as Naruto leapt forward and with the explosion-another death defying stunt-carrying her to the exact spot where she'd secreted her vehicle.

"What's say we get out of here while we can, hmm?" his grin was brighter than sunshine, but she knew not to trust it. He was too volatile to every trust. She barely managed to climb onto the bike without shaking, she must've gripped them so hard that day that her fingers actually bled. When Naruto climbed on behind her, when he wrapped an arm around her for support, it was all she do not to spit at him. Yes, perhaps a small part of her did secretly fear him...but the other, larger part wanted to turn around and beat him senseless for making such a fool out of her!

Seething, Minene shook her head and gunned the engine letting the roar drown out her rage. By Deus, what had she done...

_...she'd just teamed up with someone even crazier than her!_

**A/N: Oh dear kami above! Or is it Deus? What horror have I unleashed upon the Mirai Nikki universe?! A Naruto who isn't quite there in the head; one you can't tell if he exists in one reality or the next! Better watch out! As for the pairing, I've quite a few in mind, Perhaps NarutoxMinene or NarutoxTsubaki? I know better than to go anywhere NEAR Yuno with a ten foot pole! Yes, she is very ruthless, incredibly hot, and brilliant...but she's also a batshit yandere for Yukkii! Should be interesting once they meet, however, Crazy vs Crazy!**

**So...in the immortal words of Atlas...**

**...Review...Would You Kindly?**


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